Lyrics: Weird Al Yankovic. Polka Party. Dog Eat Dog.

Found a job in a great big office
And I really love this place
I got my, my very own Scotch tape dispenser
And I got a private parking space, ha

And I got a coffee mug with my, with my name right on it
In big bold letters so everyone knows it's mine
Don't even touch it 'cause it doesn't belong to you
I'm watching you, so don't get funny

I'm climbing up, up the corporate ladder
Watch out, it's dog eat dog
Nose against the grindstone, it feels alright
Watch out, well, it's dog eat dog
Here we go

I love to watch my boss get angry
So I can count the veins in his neck, ha
Every day is like a picnic
Every Friday, get a check

Well, do I smell jelly donuts? This is my lucky day
I'll have some coffee with a carcinogenic sweetener
Hold on a minute, just one more jelly donut
They'll never miss it, no, they'll never miss it

I'm climbing up, up the corporate ladder
Watch out, well, it's dog eat dog
Nose against the grindstone, it feels alright
Watch out, hey, well, it's dog eat dog

Sometimes I can't believe this is all really happening
Sometimes I can't believe that I'm really sitting here
Sometimes I tell myself, "This is not my beautiful stapler"
Sometimes I tell myself, "This is not my beautiful chair"

Nobody's sure what I do here
And that's just fine with me
Five o'clock is here much too soon now
'Cause I just never wanna leave

I can bend paper clips into the shapes of small animals
Maybe I could get on, on David Letterman
I think I made a big mistake
Where's my liquid paper? Where's my liquid paper?

I'm climbing up, way up the corporate ladder now
Watch out, it's dog eat dog
Nose against the grindstone, it feels alright
Better be careful now, it's dog eat dog

Watch me work, hey, hey, stand back now
Look out, mama, it's dog eat dog
Nose against the grindstone, it feels real good
Hey, dog eat dog

Here we go, dog eat dog
Say, dog eat dog
Hey, hey, dog eat dog
Say, dog eat dog

Here we go, dog eat dog
Dog eat dog
Dog eat dog
Dog eat dog
Dog eat dog