Lyrics: Weird Al Yankovic. Alpocalypse. Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me.

Oh the sand keeps falling through the hourglass
And there's no way we're gonna slow it down.
You say, "We've got to treasure each moment."
Who knows how long we're gonna be around?

Yeah, you keep on telling me life is short,
And it's hard to disagree with what you say.
But, if time is so precious why you wastin' mine?
Cause I'm always reading; always deleting
Every useless piece of garbage that you send my way!

Every stupid hoax, all those corny jokes,
Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me.
Well I don't need tons of cringe inducing puns,
Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me.

No, it isn't OK if you brighten my day
With some cut and pasted hackneyed Hallmark poetry.
And I didn't request a personality test.
Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me

Your sending virus laden mail with log-in attachments
To every single person you know.
You pass around a link to some dumb thing on You Tube
That everybody else already saw 3 years ago.

And wacky, pappy, photoshop billboards were never that amusing to me.
And I just can't believe you believe those urban legends
But I have high hopes, someone'll point you towards Snopes
And debunk that crazy junk you're spewing constantly.

No, I don't want a bowl of chicken soup for the soul.
Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me.
Send more top ten lists and I'll slash my wrists
Please, Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me

Well I'm sorry I can't accept your paranoid rant
And I don't want the Nieman-Marcus cookie recipe.
Won't you kindly refrain, 'cause it's hurting my brain.
Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me

Like glittery hearts and unicorns and pictures of somebodies cat!
Now tell me, in what alternate reality would I care about something like that????

And, by the way, your quotes from George Carlin aren't really George Carlin!

Mr. Rogers never fought the Viet Cong!
And Bill Gates is never gonna give me something for nothing.
And I highly doubt some dead girl's gonna kill me if I don't pass your letter along!!

Well I knew you're wishin' I will sign your petition,
But, Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me.
And I don't wanna read your series of conspiracy theories,
Just Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me.

And your 2 million loser friends all have my address now
Cause you never figured out the way to BBC!
Now, I got to insist.. TAKE ME OFF OF YOUR LIST!
Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me

Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me.
Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me.
Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me.

Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me. (Just stop it now.)
Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me. (Oh, nooo)
Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me.

Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me. (I can't take it!)
Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me. (Ah, Please!)
Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me.

Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me. (You gotta stop!)
Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me. (Right NOW!)
Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me.

Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me. (I'm not kidding!)
Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me.
(At the risk of being slightly repetitious gonna ask you now to STOP!)
STOP! (Sending me that)
CRAP! (I don't want it!)
DON'T SEND IT TO ME!! DON'T SEND IT TO ME!!!!

Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me. (JUST STOP!)
Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me. (Ohhh)
Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me.

To me? ohhhh, ohhhh, ahhhh??...