Lyrics: The Simpsons. A Boozehound Named Barney.

Shary: In front of a tavern,
Flat on his face,
A boozehound named Barney
Is pleading his case.

Barney: Buy me a beer,
Two bucks a glass.
Come on, help me,
I'm freezing my ass.

Buy me brandy,
A snifter of wine.
Who am I kidding?
I'll drink turpentine.

Moe: Move it, ya drunk,
Or I'll blast your rear end.
Barney: I found two bucks!
Moe: Then come in, my friend!

Shary: And so, let us leave
On this heartwarming scene.
Bart: Can I be a boozehound?
Homer: Not till you're fifteen.