Lyrics: The Decemberists. Sixteen Military Wives.

Sixteen military wives
Thirty-two softly focused brightly colored eyes
Staring at the natural tan
Of thirty-two gently clenching wrinkled little hands
Seventeen company men
Out of which only twelve will make it back again
Seargeant sent a letter to five
Military wives, his tears drip down to ten little eye

Cheer them on to their rivals
Cause America can, and America can't say no
And America does, if America says it's so
It's so

And the anchorperson on TV goes...
La de da de da

Fifteen celebrity mimes
Leaving their fifteen sorted wretched checkered lives
Will they find the solution in time
Using their fifteen pristine moderate liberal minds?

Eighteen academy chairs
Out of which only seven really even care
Doling out a garment to five
Celebrity mimes, they're humbly taken by surprise

Cheer them on to their rivals
Cause America can, and America can't say no
And America does, if America says it's so
It's so

And the anchorperson on TV goes...
La de da de da de-dadedade-da
La de da de da de-dadedade-da

Fourteen cannibal kings
Wondering blindly what the dinner bell will bring
Fifteen celebrity mimes
Served on a leafy bed th sixteen military wives

Cheer them on to their rivals
Cause America can, and America can't say no
And America does, if America says it's so
It's so

And the anchorperson on TV goes...
La de da de da de-dadedade-da
La de da de da de-dadedade-da