Lyrics: Soundtrack Artists. The Happiest Town.

Herald: Make way! Make way! Make way for the funeral procession of Doctor Victor von Frankenstein, maker of monsters!

Townspeople: Listen to our tale of woe, a story we must tell. What happened in that castle made our lives a living hell! A mad man who was crazy brought a dead man back to life. Who hurt and lamed, and killed and maimed, our town was torn with strife!

Women: But now we're not afraid no more, we see a brighter day.

Townspeople: He's laid to rest. We're truly blessed. And this is what we say... Things are swell now! Ring that bell now! We're in heaven, no more hell now! Now the doctor's dead, goodbye to dread. We're the happiest town in town! We're all smiles now, lose that frown now! No more monsters get us down now! Now the doctors passed, we're free at last! We're the happiest town in town!

Inspector Kemp: Hold the happiness.

Various Villagers: Kemp! Kemp! It's Inspector Kemp! It's Kemp!

Women Villager #1: Hold the happiness?! Why Inspector Kemp?

Inspector Kemp: Because as long as a Frankenstein lives, our village is in danger!

Male Villager #1: But, Inspector, the Baron is dead. And he was the last of the Frankensteins!

Inspector Kemp: No!

Villagers: No?

Inspector Kemp: One lives. A grandson.

Ziggy: Who is he?

Herald: What does he do?

Inspector: He's a professor, the Dean of Anatomy at New York's most famous institute of higher learning; the Johns, Miriam, and Anthony Hopkins School of Medicine. As long as this young Frankenstein walks the earth, we will never be safe!


Ziggy: I may be the village idiot, but I ask you, what are the chances of a New York doctor ever coming to Transylvania?

Townspeople: None! Yeah! On this happy day we say amen, we have wanted this since God knows when

Ziggy: No more Frankenstein!

Townspeople: You can say that again!

Ziggy: No more Frankenstein!

Townspeople: We're the happiest town in town! No more Frankenstein!

Ziggy: No more Frankenstein!

Women: No more Frankenstein!

Ziggy: No more Frankenstein!

Women: No more Frankenstein!

Ziggy: No more Frankenstein!

Women: No more Frankenstein!

Ziggy: No more Frankenstein!

Ziggy & Women: Frankenstein, Frankenstein, Frankenstein, Frankenstein, Frankenstein, Frankenstein!