Lyrics: Soundtrack Artists. Passamashloddy.

Dr. Terminus:
How wonderful to see your smiling faces again
I..I've never known such warmth, such welcome, such loving hospitality

Man:
Get out ya quack!

Man:
And don't bring those phony remedies here again!

Woman:
Go on back where you belong, jail!

Dr. Terminus:
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,
I sense enthusiasm
I sense loving response
And that's why I feel that this is my home away from home

I've been bringing cures from Pilgrim Heights to Provincetown
Treated rabid fever down on Queen Anne Road
Gout or gastritis, mumps or bronchitis
Bites and burns and blue abrasions, got a pill for all occasions!

Little Sipperwhissit was so nice to visit
And Scraggy-Neck is lovely to recall

Man:
Why didn't ya stay there?

Dr. Terminus:
But through all my trips
Good Lord there's one place
One call now, one town on my lips

Why it's...Poddamaquassy, uh, Paquamasoddy, no, no...
Passamamassy, uh, Quoddamapoddy, p...p...Passamadaddy
Uh, Quoddamapassy, uh, Passamahoddy?
Oh, I know! It's Passamashloddy!

Townsfolk:
No, it's Passamaquoddy!

Dr. Terminus:
Of course, that's what I meant to say

Woman:
I took your drug for losing weight
And now I'm a blob!

Dr. Terminus:
But now that there's so much more of you to love!

I wiped out impetigo on the banks of Buttermilk
Flu is under firm control in Powderhole
Terminus potions, tablets and lotions
Major news and modern science
Step up now and join my clients

Spent the day in Buzzard's Bay
They couldn't keep me there
Even turned away from Kingdom Hall

But since I was young, good Lord there's one spot
One little bit of Heaven on my tongue

Why it's...
Poddamaquassy, no, no...
Paquamasoddy, no, Passamamassy, uh, Quoddamapoddy
p...p...Passamadaddy, uh, Quoddamapassy, uh, Passamahoddy?

Oh, I know! It's Passamashloddy!

Townsfolk:
No, it's Passamaquoddy!

Dr. Terminus:
Of course, ha, ha! I knew it all the time

Man:
My hair was grey and thanks you to it turned into pink

Dr. Terminus:
But that colour - it's so becoming!

Town's people:
We're gonna wash your faulty tonics right down the sink!

Dr. Terminus:
Wait, listen, my specialties are
Audiology, Mycology, Sarology, Teritology
Embryology, psychology, zoology!
And every other 'ology' you can think of!

Woman:
I believe in the doc!

Woman:
I trust him!

Man:
I'd put my life in his hands!

Dr. Terminus:
My friends you've seen a miracle!
And you'll see many more,
People will come pouring in from land and sea!

We'll have centres for testing
Let's start investing
Keep those dimes dollars mounting,
I'll do the counting

Everyone who lives here will be strong and healthy
You'll be getting richer by the day!

Townsfolk:
Yay!

Dr. Terminus:
Hear the mclaimers
This down will be famous
The whole wide world will look at us and say...

It's...
Poddamaquassy, no, Paquamasoddy, no, no, Passamamassy,
Uh, Quoddamapoddy, p...p...Passamadaddy,
q...q...q...Quoddamapassy...
Quoddamaddy, Dappadaddy, Dappamossy, Quoddapossy
Quassapossa, Passaquossa, ha ha ha ha!

Town's folk:
Passamaquoddy!

Dr. Terminus:
I know!