Lyrics: Soundtrack Artists. By Jeeves.

BERTIE
It is patently clear
Any awkwardness here
Can be cleared up in less than a trice
Our identity switch
Who is who, which is which
We're in need of some solid advice
There's a painfully simple solution
It's as plain as the nose on your face

BINGO
By gad!

GUSSIE
By gosh!

BINGO
By heck!

GUSSIE
By gum!

BINGO
By rabbit's foot!

GUSSIE
By kingdom come!

BERTIE
By all my sainted aunt believes!

BINGO
By George!

GUSSIE
By Jove!

ALL
By Jeeves!
When we're faced with the grind
Of exerting the mind
We are filled with a deep sense of dread

BERTIE
"How on earth," I hear cries
"Does one give exercise
To a thing that's in bed in your head?"

BINGO
What we need is a free range consultant

GUSSIE
Where on earth do you find one of those?

BERTIE
By hook! By crook!

BINGO
By way! By pass!

GUSSIE
By sea! By air!

BERTIE
By road!

BINGO
By grass!

GUSSIE
By seven dwarves!

BERTIE
By forty thieves!

ALL
By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!

BERTIE
By shuttlecock!

GUSSIE
By croquet hoop!

BINGO
By Panama!

BERTIE
By Windsor soup!

GUSSIE
By all those cards tucked up his sleeves!

ALL
By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!
Our collective I.Q.
Of around 42
Cannot cope, to be perfectly frank
All true leaders of men
Delegate now and then
Try to keep their minds totally blank
To appreciate loftier matters

BINGO
Things that mostly go over my head

BERTIE

By derby day!

GUSSIE
By nursery tea!

BINGO
By moose!

BERTIE
By spoons!

GUSSIE
By half past three!

BINGO
By every tender breast that heaves!

ALL
By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!

BERTIE
By marmalade!

GUSSIE
By bowler hat!

BINGO
By toothpaste tube!

BERTIE
By Burmese cat!

GUSSIE
By baby newts!

BINGO
By autumn leaves!

ALL
By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!
Behold how Jeeves with sleight of hand
Conceives a scheme so carefully planned
Even we can understand
If he takes it terribly slow - ly

BERTIE
By Basingstoke!

BINGO
By cardboard box!

GUSSIE
By Budge's knees!

BERTIE
By Bassett's socks!

BINGO
By each that conjuror deceives!

ALL
By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!

BERTIE
By jumping jack!

GUSSIE
By easy chair!

BINGO
By Bain Marie!

BERTIE
By Camembert!

GUSSIE
By every fruit bat in the eaves!

ALL
By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!

BINGO
By walking boot!

GUSSIE
By thermal drawers!

BERTIE
By canapes!

BINGO
By Santa Claus!

GUSSIE
By all his mighty brain achieves!

BERTIE
By every spell the master weaves!

ALL
By heck! By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!
By Jeeves! By Jeeves! By Jeeves!
By Jeeves!