Lyrics: Madonna. The Funny Song.

I went down to the local bar
To buy my daddy a big cigar
When I got home he was dead
Somebody shot him in the head

Oh dear daddy
You're not gonna see me grieve
'Cause you brought out the worst in me

(Spoken:)
Yep! It's all true.
It's true. It makes me cry.

When the funeral was through
I had myself a barbecue
Daddy's bones they sure taste good
I couldn't have stopped; if only I could
[or: I'd have killed him myself; if only I could]

Oh dear daddy
You're not gonna see me sad
'Cause everything you did was bad