Lyrics: Flanders & Swann. The Rhinoceros.

Oh nobody loves the Rhinoceros much

If you ask the reason why,

They will tell you because of his scaly touch

Or his hard and glittering eye;

But should you ask a truthful man

You will get this quick response:

I do not trust that thing on his nose

The bodger on his bonce!



Oh the bodger on the bonce!

The bodger on the bonce!

Pity the poor old Rhino with

The bodger on the bonce!



Yet a sensitive heart the Rhinoceros owns.

If you doubt it, here's the proof;

That thing on his nose is for taking stones

Out of a horse's hoof:

He seldom, if ever meets a horse

(It is this that makes him sad)

When he does then it hasn't a stone in its hoof,

But he would if he did and it had!



Oh the bodger on the bonce!

The bodger on the bonce!

Pity the poor old Rhino with

The bodger on the bonce!



And just to bring pleasure to those

Who like to enjoy the natural scene,

He picks up litter on his spike

To keep the forest clean:

And if one day to his habitat

For a picnic you should roam,

He would open a tin should you

Have left your opener at home,



With the bodger on the bonce!

The bodger on the bonce!

Pity the poor old Rhino with

The bodger on the bonce!





So treat the Rhinoceros as your friend

Though he looks a fearsome sight,

He amply justifies his end

Because his means are right;

And ask yourself, would you do as well

Fulfilling long-felt wants,

If nature had endowed you with

A Bodger on your bonce?



Yes, a Bodger on your bonce?

A Bodger on your bonce?

If nature had endowed you with

A Bodger on your bonce?

A Bodger on your bonce?

A Bodger on your bonce?