Lyrics: Flanders & Swann. The Gas Man Cometh.

'Twas on a Monday morning

The Gas-Man came to call;

The gas tap wouldn't turn - I wasn't getting gas at all.

He tore out all the skirting boards

To try and find the main,

And I had to call a Carpenter to put them back again.

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do!



'Twas on a Tuesday morning

The Carpenter came round;

He hammered and he chiselled and he said: 'Look what I've found!

Your joists are full of dry-rot

But I'll put it all to rights.'

Then he nailed right through a cable and out went all the lights.

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do!



'Twas on a Wednesday morning

The Electrician came;

He called me 'Mr Sanderson' (which isn't quite my name).

He couldn't reach the fuse box

Without standing on the bin

And his foot went through a window - so I called a Glazier in.

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do!



Twas on a Thursday morning

The Glazier came along,

With his blow-torch and his putty and his merry Glazier's song;

He put another pane in -

It took no time at all -

But I had to get a Painter in to come and paint the wall.

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do!



'Twas on a Friday morning

The Painter made a start;

With undercoats and overcoats he painted every part,

Every nook and every cranny,

But I found when he was gone

He'd painted over the gas tap and I couldn't turn it on!

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do!



On Saturday and Sunday they do no work at all:

So 'twas on a Monday morning that the Gas-Man came to call!