Lyrics: Elvis Costello. Chewing Gum.

With their cardboard hands by their sides
Here's a naked man and lady
And they're yours to cut out and keep
So you can dress them up, maybe

And they don't know just who they are
Or who they're supposed to be
You can make them happy or sad
Or assume their identity

So here they are in the departure lounge
It's the 'Gateway to the East'
She is just another mail-order bride
She doesn't know he's a kinky beast

Now he gives her a picture of Maradona and child
She wants to roll and rock
As he spills his beer over her
Bumps and he grinds, as he repeats, "Bang-Cock"

There must be something that is better than this
It starts with a slap and ends with a kiss
Begins with you bawling and it ends up in tears
Oh, my little one, take that chewing gum out of your ears

She might as well be in the jungle
She might as well be on the moon
He's away on a business trip in Dusseldorf
But she's becoming immune

To the lack of glamor and danger
In a West-German city today
The nearest she comes to the 'Dynasty' like he promised her
Is a Chinese take-away

Ah, there must be something that is better than this
It starts with a slap and ends up with a kiss
Begins with you bawling and it ends up in tears
Oh, my little one, take that chewing gum out of your ears

Though he only taught her three little words
It doesn't matter if they're dirty or clean
He can only control what they look like
He can never possess what they mean

So he wants to whisper in her ear
All the shrinking nothingness
Something always comes between them
I wonder if you can guess

There must be something that is better than this
It starts with a slap and ends up with a kiss
Begins with you bawling and it ends up in tears
Oh, my little one, take that chewing gum out of your ears