Lyrics: Barbra Streisand. Blind Date.

Smooth the sofa, plump the pillows
Dump the ashtrays, oh, this dress
Look at me, I am shaking all over
Shaking all over, I'm a mess

Waiting, wondering what I'll be thinking
When he comes walking through that door
What'll come walking through that door
A man I never saw in my life before

Oh, I am so nervous
I got a blind date waiting to call on me
(Any minute now)
I got a blind date, what am I gonna see
(Any minute now)

Right over there's the doorway
He will be walking through
Will he be six foot eight or maybe four foot two?
(It could happen)

I got a blind date waiting to come around
(Any minute now)
Oye but I'm nervous listen to my heart pound
Why do I need this headache, single is not a crime
I got a blind date
An' with my luck he'll be on time

I got a girlfriend Shirley, who says why not
(She's an idiot)
This guy is a friend from a friend of a friend she got
(Hello, how do you do? What an idiot)

One thing I know is Shirley ain't sitting on no shelf
If he was such a vow she'd keep him for herself
(It's only natural)
She says she is he's nice and he deals in stocks
(Sounds good, but she's an idiot)

I'll bet a buck, he looks like month old lox
(Also and idiot)
What do I need from Shirley, her and her fifty cup
I got a blind date and I'm praying he stands me up

Wait wait, what am I praying he stands me up
I'll stand him up, I smell a rat, anyway
Umm, I'm gonna hide under the bed
He'll never see me, he'll walk in and look around
I wouldn't be there, he'll go away and that's the end of that
Perfect

Now you keep quiet, not a word you hear
You didn't see a thing
Oops, there he is
Now, quiet everybody ssh, quiet

Rosalie?
Oi, oi, oi
Rosalie? That's odd she doesn't seem to be here
Smart, smart

I've been stood up, it's news
Well, it's better than put down
This has never happened before
What and ego

Rosalie?
Sh, sh, sh
It worked, it worked
He never saw me, boy am I lucky, I didn't see him neither
But I can just imagine what a lox that one was

I got it right here, Shirley was playing tricks
No, no, that's wrong, you got it wrong
Wait, wait, what that's not right?
No, he was gorgeous he looked like Rudolph

Rudolph who?
Rudolph Valentino
Get away
Yeah, the sheik from Arabia

Not the phantom from the opera?
Uh, uh
The sheik from where?
The sheik from Arabia

Get away
That's right
Wait a minute, is this person kidding me around here?
No, no absolutely
Get away
Well, that's what happened, I let him get away

What do I'll do now, maybe become a nun?
(That's impossible)
I'm calling Shirley, maybe she'll bring a gun
Please Shirley, even if he's Lon Chaney, fat, bald or short or tall
Having a blind date is better than having
No date, at no time with no one at all

Wait a minute maybe I spoke too soon
Shirley get me out of here
Oh, this one is cute