Lyrics: Barbara Dickson. Spend Spend Spend. Two Rooms.

George : Eight draws!
You've got 'em all, eight draws!
Luck was a bitch, but now you're rich
She's bloody Santa Claus
Two rooms
You'd easy fill two rooms,
If you get all that brass in cash
As you will, one presumes.
Two rooms
You'll need the extra space,
Else where on earth d'ya keep the stuff?
You'll need a bigger place.
Two yachts
Two yachts, a summer cruise!
There's one for you and me - and Viv,
And one to tow the booze.
Two wives to help spend all that dosh
Keep Viv for ev'ryday use and
The other one for posh.
If you laid ev'ry one pound note
End to end, I tell yer then
You'd reach from here right to the moon

Keith/George : To the moon and back again.

Keith : Two homes
We'll need to buy two homes,
A mansion and a bungalow
To house the garden gnomes.
Two fags
Give me a pair of snout
I'll start to light two fags at once
In case one should go out.
Two beds
Two beds a "yours" and "mine"
Or one for kip and one that's just
For "How's yer father"

George : Fine!

Keith : To hell!
Me boss can go to hell!
I'll thumb me nose at him and hold
Two fingers up as well.

George : If you stuck this lot on yer scales,
Reckon it would weigh two ton
Keith : And if we blow the flippin' lot
Keith/Young Viv : We're gonna have two tons of fun.

Young Viv : Two lavs
There'll be no need for queues.
'Cept now we're toffs we can't say, "lavs"
We'll have to call them, "loos".

Two loos,
Two loos, so you can choose
To use the one for number ones
And one for number twos.

Toulouse,
Toulouse-Lautrec, he's great,
We'll have his painting on the wall.
George : Get him to decorate.
George/Keith : Two this
Two that, two ev'rything,
As happy as two pigs in muck
Just like a queen and king.

Young Viv : Two jokers
What a pair of fools,
Two hours we've sat waiting now
And no man from the pools.

Two rooms

George/Keith : We're gonna need two rooms,
Two rooms to keep the money in
We're gonna need - two rooms.

Viv : Two days
No visit, not a call,
By then we thought he'd never sent
The coupon after all.

Young Viv : Keith, it's two men. Two men from the pools!